Lately, it seems as though I struggle with the battle of the hitter more than any other battle. No, not the baseball kind. Not the spousal kind, heavens no! But the child hitter. Yes, I confess I have a hitter. My son hits...he's 21 months old and he hits and has been since last summer.
Lately, he seems to be hitting more than ever. He hits whenever he is frustrated and it has proven to be very difficult to deal with...I'm out of options with which to handle the hitting because guess what ladies and gents, I've been dealing with this for 7 months. And although at one point I thought we were over it...it ever so unexpectedly made a whopping in your face reappearance in early December 5 minutes into a very long day of flying. And now it's stronger and fiercer than ever.
I never thought I would have a child with such a behavior. I've come to the conclusion that no matter how many things I did or do right with Park, his behavior is ultimately a part of his make-up. I know this to be true because I live it day in and day out. To those of you who have had the luxury of not having a child who hits...count your blessings my friends! And to those of you who are judging me this very moment and like to pretend your children would NEVER hit...let me tell you something...your day WILL come. It may not be hitting...but it will be something else. Something that embarrasses the hell out of you, something that screams attention needed!!!
And so I offer to any of you who struggle as I am struggling not only my strong condolences, but an honest and true testimony that you are not alone in the fight to end the behavior...and you are NOT a bad mother/father/caregiver.
If anyone has any good ideas or information to shed some light on the topic of hitting behavior, opinions are welcome. (and btw, I've already tried ignoring it, time outs and deep discussions so any ideas other than that are welcome)
Mommy Bridget
i can totally relate with what you are going through, my son who is now 3 1/2 went throught the same thing at about the same age as your son. There is a great book called "Hands are not for hitting" by Elizabeth Verdick that I found to be a helpful tool. My son hit for different reasons, sometimes he would just be so excited to see friends that he would hit as a hello! I worked on giving him words to express what I thought he was feeling at the time. "wow. i see that you are frustrated, but you may NOT hit mommy so lets see how we can solve this", sometimes i would hand him a pillow that he could hit instead, and sometimes i would just hold his hands and say "stop and breathe" and take some deep breaths with him. just trust your mommy insticts and do what makes sense to you. take heart,Park won't hit forever. those little bodies are full of emotion and energy but they dont alays have the words to express those feelings.
ReplyDeleteThe minute I read your post, I went on Amazon to buy the book you suggested...yes I am quite desperate! (Park also hits when he is excited and doesn't know how to express his excitement.) However, I see the book but could the author be Andre Agassi, PhD??? I didn't see this book by Elizabeth Verdick.
ReplyDeleteThank you!!!
The authors name is Martine Agassi Ph.D. Silly. Andre's book is Tennis Rackets Are Not For Whacking! :P
ReplyDeleteI love you. Yes, that is the correct book! There are more in the series, like Teeth Are Not For Biting. I have heard great things about them! And from more than one parent.
tee hee hee...Andre Agassi:)
ReplyDelete