7 am and I already have a fat lip

When you are expecting your first child nobody ever tells you you might wake up one day and forget who you are. Nobody ever tells you that you will feel a shower is a vacation. And nobody ever tells you that you can begin to feel the affects of post part em depression a year after the birth of your baby. While what many offer as warnings and expectations of motherhood prove true and valuable, the reality of motherhood is much, MUCH more.

I gave birth to my first child 13 months ago after a 16 hour attempt at a natural birth. 45 minutes after the most amazing invention, the epidural, took effect, my son was ready to finally emerge. Sweet hearted and already a Momma's boy, my son soon after became the object of my husband's and my affection. Always at ease in my arms, Park was quite easy to adjust to. The loving emotions of unconditional love for my child became evident as what my life was before quickly vanished and at that moment became my new life...mommyhood.

And so the story began...

Although I couldn't imagine my life without my son. And although I wouldn't change the direction my life has taken me, I feel my life is at a standstill. I am at a t in the road. I can't go forward any longer because I am no longer a single entity. So I must choose to go left or choose to go right. If I go left, I am a wife and a mother. But if I go right...I am a wife, a mother, AND I am me.

After a day's worth of tears from what could be the beginnings of post part em depression, I decided I would take back control of my life by taking "the bull by its horns" and create positive out of the difficult times I have and no doubt will encounter. I came to the conclusion that although I define myself today as a wife and a mother...I am much more than that. I would prove to myself that I AM.

And although my daily wake-up mommy alarm usually beings by 5:30 am, and although by 7 am my loving child so affectionately head butts me achieving a fat lip, today is going to be a good day.

Welcome to the curious case of mommyhood!

Sincerely,

Mommy Bridget

p.s. It's 9 am and my son is napping in his crib, my coffee is warm and tasty, I already went on vacation (shower), and have now created a blog for all those mothers (and fathers) out there who understand. Today is a great day!